Digital Parenting Approaches
What kind of a digital parent are you? Folks, we tend to fall into one of three categories. Digital Enablers allow the most screen freedom, permitting their children to make their own digital decisions. Enablers are quick to see the benefits of digital enjoyment. Digital Limiters are the most likely to turn screens off and keep them off. Limiters see more benefit in off screen activities. Digital Mentors are likely to invite their children into joint family screen time.
I grew up in a one television home. Our screen remained dark for most of the week with the exception of one or two movies on a Friday night when my parents went out for a date. My mom had a computer for work and occasionally allowed us to play The Oregon Trail and Carmen Sandiego. We probably engaged in a total of 2-5 hours of screen time per week. My mom was a Digital Limiter. The Digital Limiter approach usually requires a high level of parent engagement and parent directed offscreen activities. It is an admirable approach requiring significant parental time, attention, and dedication. The downside to a primarily limiting approach is that when children in these families do access screens they are at the highest risk for accessing pornography and being rude and hostile online (Samuel, 2015)!
The children of Digital Enablers have less family discord around screen use. Screen squabbles are costly and in most homes, quite frequent. The downside for children of Enablers is that they are the most likely to share private information with strangers online.
The children of Digital Mentors, who spend a moderate amount of structured and supervised time on screen appear to be the most well protected long-term. They display the safest onscreen behavior.
By nature I am a fearful, Digital Limiter. I am keenly aware of onscreen risks and I feel strongly driven to turn screens off as often as possible. But, motivated by the protective benefits of the Digital Mentor approach, I have been working hard for several years to proactively choose to bring my children onscreen in order to model and directly teach them healthy onscreen behavior. I now make sure to play video games with my children. I ask them to show me their favorite games and apps. I invite them to teach me how to improve my gaming skills. Not only do I see this approach as a method to refine their screen behavior, but I also see it as a way to bond with my children over one of their favorite activities. Furthermore, as my husband tends more to the Digital Enabling approach by nature, we find that working toward becoming Digital Mentors allows a better compromise of our somewhat opposite natural tendencies.
Consider practicing the following in order to become more of Digital Mentor, thus setting your children up for greater long term screen success.
Invite your children onscreen for joint digital activities.
Ask your children about their favorite influencers, apps, and shows.
Ask your children to teach you one of their favorite digital games. Accept their “no” if they decline to do so.
References:
Alexandra Samuel. Parents: Reject Technology Shame. The Atlantic. 2015. https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2015/11/why-parents-shouldnt-feel-technology-shame/414163/
